Feeling Unlike Yourself During Perimenopause: When Counselling Can Help

One of the most unsettling parts of perimenopause is the feeling that you’ve somehow lost yourself. You may look the same on the outside, but internally things feel different — harder, heavier, or unfamiliar.

Many women describe feeling disconnected from who they used to be, unsure of how to move forward, and frustrated by changes they can’t easily explain.

When “coping” no longer feels possible

You might notice that things you once managed without much effort now feel overwhelming. This can show up as:

• increased anxiety or constant worry

• emotional sensitivity or numbness

• loss of confidence or motivation

• feeling stuck or uncertain about the future

These experiences can be deeply unsettling, especially if you’ve always seen yourself as capable and resilient.

Identity shifts during perimenopause

Perimenopause often coincides with broader life changes — shifts in roles, priorities, relationships, or sense of purpose. When internal changes meet external transitions, it can trigger questions such as:

• “Who am I now?”

• “Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?”

• “Is this just how things are going to be?”

These questions deserve space and care, not dismissal.

Why emotional support matters during this stage

Trying to push through or minimise what you’re feeling can increase distress over time. Counselling offers a place to slow down, make sense of your experience, and reconnect with yourself in a more compassionate way.

Support during perimenopause isn’t about labelling or pathologizing. It’s about understanding your nervous system, emotional patterns, and the meaning behind what you’re experiencing.

A personal understanding of this stage

I also want to acknowledge that this stage of life isn’t something I understand only professionally.

I have been through perimenopause myself, and I know how difficult it can be. For me, it came with significant mood swings, hot flushes, anxiety, and brain fog. There were times when I didn’t feel like myself and struggled to make sense of what was happening.

That lived experience has shaped how I work. It means I approach this stage with compassion, realism, and respect for how disruptive and unsettling it can feel — both personally and within relationships. You don’t need to explain or justify what you’re experiencing here. I understand how real it is.

When counselling may be helpful

Counselling may be a good support if you:

• feel anxious, low, or emotionally overwhelmed

• feel disconnected from yourself or your relationships

• are navigating multiple life changes at once

• want support making sense of this transition

Working with a counsellor can help you feel more grounded, clearer, and better equipped to navigate this stage of life.

Support in Corrimal

At Hope and Grow Counselling Services, I support adults in Corrimal who are navigating perimenopause, anxiety, and life transitions. My approach is warm, practical, and supportive, helping clients reconnect with themselves and move forward with greater clarity and self-trust.