How Perimenopause Can Affect Mood, Anxiety, and Relationships

Perimenopause can arrive quietly or all at once. Many women describe feeling unlike themselves — more anxious, more reactive, more emotionally flat or overwhelmed — without fully understanding why. Relationships that once felt steady may suddenly feel strained, and small stresses can feel much harder to manage.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it. Perimenopause can have a real impact on mood, anxiety, and the way we relate to others.

This article explores what’s happening, why it can feel so unsettling, and when counselling can help.

Emotional and psychological changes during perimenopause

Perimenopause is the transition phase before menopause, often beginning in the 40s but sometimes earlier. During this time, hormonal fluctuations can affect more than just the body.

Many women notice:

• increased anxiety or a sense of internal agitation

• low mood, tearfulness, or emotional numbness

• irritability or a shorter fuse than usual

• difficulty coping with stress

• reduced confidence or increased self-doubt

These changes can feel confusing, especially if you’ve always managed life well before. It’s common to wonder, “Why am I struggling now?”

Why anxiety can increase during perimenopause

Hormonal shifts can affect the nervous system, making it easier for the body to slip into a heightened stress response. This can show up as:

• constant worry

• racing thoughts

• poor sleep

• physical symptoms such as tightness in the chest or restlessness

At the same time, perimenopause often overlaps with major life transitions — changing roles, caring responsibilities, relationship shifts, or children becoming more independent. Anxiety can grow when internal changes collide with external pressure.

How perimenopause can affect relationships

Many couples are caught off guard by how much this stage of life can affect their connection.

You or your partner may notice:

• more frequent conflict or misunderstandings

• emotional withdrawal or feeling disconnected

• less patience or tolerance for unresolved issues

• difficulty communicating needs clearly

Partners often want to help but don’t know how. Without understanding what’s happening, both people can feel frustrated, rejected, or alone.

Perimenopause doesn’t cause relationship problems, but it can expose stress points that were already there — or make it harder to cope with them.

Feeling like you’ve lost yourself

One of the hardest parts of perimenopause is the sense of no longer recognising yourself. Women often say:

• “I don’t feel like me anymore.”

• “I used to cope better than this.”

• “I feel disconnected from myself and my relationship.”

These experiences can affect identity, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. They deserve to be taken seriously, not dismissed or minimised.

When counselling can help during perimenopause

Counselling can be especially helpful if:

• anxiety or low mood is affecting daily life

• relationship conflict has increased

• you feel emotionally disconnected or stuck

• you’re navigating multiple life transitions at once

Counselling during perimenopause isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about understanding what’s happening, strengthening emotional regulation, improving communication, and helping you feel more grounded and supported during a significant life transition.

Support in Corrimal

At Hope and Grow Counselling Services, I support adults and couples in Corrimal who are navigating perimenopause, anxiety, and relationship changes. My approach is warm, practical, and grounded, helping clients make sense of what they’re experiencing and move forward with greater clarity and self-compassion.

If this stage of life feels harder than you expected, you don’t have to manage it alone. Support can make a real difference.